A friend of Knowledge Towers informed us on Sunday that you can lose about a pound in weight when you go for a wee. Anyone who's spent several hours in a pub will tell you that this is quite plausible, given that a pound weighs about the same as a pint of liquid, and that the ratio whilst drinking lager is 1 pint in, 5 pints out. By the way, our friend satisfies and indeed develops her fascination with bodily fluids by working as a nurse.
While we're on the subject of johnsons, here's the world's worst ever false name - when Guy Fawkes was caught with a stick of dynamite and a Che Guevara T-shirt in the cellars of Parliament in 1605, he pretended that his name was John Johnson, which surely could only have been worse if he had gone for Bonfire McFireworks. I'd like to think that he put a large 'uhh' between his assumed first and surnames, accompanied with a scratch of the chin, in the vein of Alan Partridge when posing as Bill Car.
I'd like to finish this loosely cohesive, wholly juvenile article with a fact about Littlehampton, but instead we're heading 30 miles east on the A27, over the South Downs and along the interminable Brighton by-pass, all the way back to bloody Lewes. I learnt from ever-flowing fountain of knowledge Sky Sports News that Lewes is not pronounced Lewis, but is instead pronounced Loos - which brings us back to where we started...
While we're on the subject of johnsons, here's the world's worst ever false name - when Guy Fawkes was caught with a stick of dynamite and a Che Guevara T-shirt in the cellars of Parliament in 1605, he pretended that his name was John Johnson, which surely could only have been worse if he had gone for Bonfire McFireworks. I'd like to think that he put a large 'uhh' between his assumed first and surnames, accompanied with a scratch of the chin, in the vein of Alan Partridge when posing as Bill Car.
I'd like to finish this loosely cohesive, wholly juvenile article with a fact about Littlehampton, but instead we're heading 30 miles east on the A27, over the South Downs and along the interminable Brighton by-pass, all the way back to bloody Lewes. I learnt from ever-flowing fountain of knowledge Sky Sports News that Lewes is not pronounced Lewis, but is instead pronounced Loos - which brings us back to where we started...
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