Brass Monkeys

< The original brass monkey

This is, if memory serves, the closest I have come to the midnight deadline, so it's going to be quick today. My fact came from work, from one of the lovely people I support in my role as a Tenant Support Officer. He informed me that the phrase "freezing brass monkeys", meaning very cold indeed, the phrase in full being approximately "cold enough to freeze the balls off brass monkeys". In a new, exciting chapter for Quest For Knowledge, I'm going to verify this fact as I write (time's tight this evening). So, what I learned was:

The phrase "freezing brass monkeys" is a naval term, referring to wintry conditions where icy seawater came on board the ship and froze around cannonballs, which when put in a pyramid next to the cannons, which were stored on brass trays, known as brass monkeys.



Technically the original phrase was "cold enough to freeze the balls of brass monkeys" but got changed over time to the slightly saltier, testicle-referencing phrase that builders still use within earshot of small children to this day. That's how he told it anyway. Let's see if he's right...



The answer, predictably enough is maybe. Wikipedia says not, plenty of other sites stick to the cannonball theory, although they generally claim that the contracting of the, ahem, balls caused them to fall, which would revert the phrase back to "cold enough to freeze the balls off brass monkeys". The main alternative explanation is, disappointingly, that it comes from actual brass monkeys (small trinkets popular all over Asia), particular the 'three wise monkeys', a trio of shiny chimps who represent see no evil, hear no evil and speak on evil by placing their hands over the relevant body parts.



Anyway, of the three key parts to his yarn (the tray being called a brass monkey, the cannonballs being frozen, and the actual wording of the phrase) only one looks like it's right, but personally I believe it - it seems logical enough. The same fella also, however, claimed that tea has more caffeine in it than coffee, which isn't true - don't worry I resisted the urge to correct him on the spot, though I may be forced to bring it up at a later date before my teeth start to itch.