Names For Things That Don't Have Names

- Aglets and lunnules in action

When I was an adolescent fact-finder back in the early 90s, my favourite book which I took everywhere was an American book called The Book of Lists (yes, I was that kind of kid) which dismantled the old maxim that you can't judge a book by it's cover. It was literally a book full of lists, on all sorts of obscure topics; the windiest place in America (it's not Chicago! delight in the irony), the worst film ever made (they did quantify this, but it escapes me how) etc. I didn't care that the book was American and all the information was out-of-date by ten years; I took it everywhere with me.

Imagine my delight then when I discovered that the good book is still going strong and is available for just £5.99; imagine my joy when I found that a lot of the lists are available online - a penny short of six quid is a touch steep to evoke childhood innocence in a world of fear. The first list I stumbled upon today concerned 'names for things you never knew had names' which was one of my favourites back in the day - I used to endlessly annoy mum and dad by asking them if they knew what the plastic bits on the ends of their shoelaces were called, before informing them before they could draw breath that they were called 'aglets'. This has resurfaced on the 2008 list, but I didn't need reminding. The trouble is that I remember reading and re-reading this list but can't remember which words were and weren't on the original list, so I can't count any of them as learning, even though I feel like I've learnt them because I literally can't wait for her to come in the room so I can tell her that the # key on a telephone is called an 'octothorpe' and is named after a runner, for God's sake. Anyway, I've dipped into a similar list that doesn't ring any bells and have discovered the following:

The pale, crescent-shaped mark at the base of a human fingernail is called a lunnule.

I guess the part of me that isn't pitifully enthralled by this information recognises that really it's not called a lunnule, because nobody calls it that. It's called 'that pale bit on my fingernail', much the same way as aglets are really known as 'those plasticy bits on my shoelaces'. These words are pretty much obsolete, but maybe that's why I find them so interesting. Maybe if I tell enough people the true names for these everyday items, they will once again return to common usage, purely through my own endeavours. Then again, that's how I got banned from Trowbridge town centre in the first place.