Today I want to talk about the number one threat facing human civilisation. No, not global warming. Guess again. Nuclear war? Do me a favour. Terrorism? Please. I am talking, as if you needed telling, about the cyborg menace that has its silicon fingers round the throat of our very way of life. We all knew that one day the robots would get a little too smart - they'd start asking questions about the utopia they'd been created into. Why is the checkout line moving so slowly? Why has my Travelcard taken three weeks to be processed? They would begin to see the imperfections of our world, and use their incredible artificial intelligence to take control. Well, my friends, that day is upon us.
There is a robot known as Asimo, who has appeared in Honda ads, and is a shining example of the kind of technology we're dealing with here. Just this week, it violently deposed a human orchestra conductor and took up his baton in a bloodless coup, leading a frightened, bewildered orchestra through a robotic rendition of "The Impossible Dream". The human race was only saved from this fearsome maestro of doom by Asimo's battery, which can only sustain revolution for a brief period:
Asimo, the advanced robot who appears in the Honda ads, uses up its battery power every twenty minutes.
That's right people, settle down, there's nothing to fear, because Asimo is rubbish, and he's the best they've got. I remember writing a project at school about life in the year 2000 with the rest of my classmates, and playground discussions were unanimous - by the year 2000 (at that point, eight years away) cars would be able to fly, and robots would either rule the world, or at least be working their way into middle management. How could we have known that reading about drug-taking celebrities and watching dickheads break Playstation 3s on the internet would be as futuristic as it got? Other predictions were more accurate, of course. Back to the Future II features a dystopian nightmare complete with ringtones and chip and pin machines (sort of). It does however also hint at flying cars, and sky-based motorways. You can't win them all.
So we can come out from behind the sofa for now - the robots aren't taking over. And even if one day they do, much like the Daleks, they'll be scuppered by that pesky human invention called stairs.
There is a robot known as Asimo, who has appeared in Honda ads, and is a shining example of the kind of technology we're dealing with here. Just this week, it violently deposed a human orchestra conductor and took up his baton in a bloodless coup, leading a frightened, bewildered orchestra through a robotic rendition of "The Impossible Dream". The human race was only saved from this fearsome maestro of doom by Asimo's battery, which can only sustain revolution for a brief period:
Asimo, the advanced robot who appears in the Honda ads, uses up its battery power every twenty minutes.
That's right people, settle down, there's nothing to fear, because Asimo is rubbish, and he's the best they've got. I remember writing a project at school about life in the year 2000 with the rest of my classmates, and playground discussions were unanimous - by the year 2000 (at that point, eight years away) cars would be able to fly, and robots would either rule the world, or at least be working their way into middle management. How could we have known that reading about drug-taking celebrities and watching dickheads break Playstation 3s on the internet would be as futuristic as it got? Other predictions were more accurate, of course. Back to the Future II features a dystopian nightmare complete with ringtones and chip and pin machines (sort of). It does however also hint at flying cars, and sky-based motorways. You can't win them all.
So we can come out from behind the sofa for now - the robots aren't taking over. And even if one day they do, much like the Daleks, they'll be scuppered by that pesky human invention called stairs.
1 comment:
Asimo as I am sure you know is a nice way of recognising the exceptional piece of SF magic written by Isaac Asimov when he imagined a world and the invention of a “positronic brain,” Fascinating reading I-Robot although the film was not to good.
Post a Comment