An easier Friday entry today, as I've had the day off to savour every last minute Boris Johnson isn't mayor of London (three hours and counting now). I watched a bit of the snazzy 'London Tonight' ITV news show from City Hall, which featured Police Camera Action legend Alistair Stewart asking who exactly was going to help Boris to run London, implying that if it was left to him then the capital would literally grind to a shuddering, comical halt. This was interspersed with reportage claiming that Boris Johnson was actually winning the election. All that remained was for Stewart to turn to the camera and conclude, in the richest, most gravitas-heavy tone he could muster, "So, today London elects a mayor that nobody believes can do the job. My final question tonight is for the people of this great city. Are you fucking mental."
I can't think about it any more - I need to turn my thoughts to simpler ideas. Like the one that occurred to me during last night's ultra-tedious election coverage (at one point, I thought Dimbleby and Nick Robinson might try televised sexual intercourse in a bid to add some spice): can bees sting each other? And here's the answer:
Bees can sting each other.
This is most apparent in the stinger of the honey bee, which is the only type of bee, wasp or hornet that perishes when its sting breaks off in the arm of some poor toddler who got in too deep. This is because tge honey bee's sting isn't designed for attacking little kids - its meant only for what Wikipedia describes as 'inter-bee combat'. That's right it's Bee vs Bee, Part II: This Time It's Personal. When bees go skin-on-skin for the freedom of the hive, the stings can slide straight in and deliver a knockout blow without breaking off. Bees will only sting non-bees when they feel their hive is under threat - a swarm of bees isn't dangerous as they are homeless, and have nothing to fight for. Sad I know, but it's still a swarm of bees, so don't stick around too long feeling sorry for them.
Queen bees may kick back in the hive 99% of the time, but they also indulge in inter-bee combat, using their smooth, reusable sting to take down challengers to their throne. I have imagined being the size of a bee, and watching the Queen execute a pupating rival with a well-aimed sting through her stripey abdomen, and I feel a bit frightened. It's almost as frightening an image as Boris Johnson sat in the mayor's office, smoking a fat cigar and shouting 'what do those bloody gays want now?' down the phone...
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