No need for learning this afternoon or evening, as Claire helpfully informed me of the following in the early hours of this morning:
The average human being farts fourteen times a day.
Not a lot to add to that really, except that I'm currently well below the average today (it's been 2 or 3, tops) but I do have a hearty dinner still to come, so I could yet break even. While confirming the above statement, I stumbled upon this website, which tells you literally everything you ever wanted to know about farting, in an admirably deadpan style. It includes such nuggets (please forgive the mental image that may have created) of bum-burp-based trivia as the reason why silent farts smell worse. It's because they're created from bacterial reactions inside the intestine, whereas the loud 'n' proud ones that it's worth turning the telly down for are caused by the intake of oxygen - through the mouth, I might add.
Incidentally, my favourite kind of fart is the early morning, turning over in bed, three second thumper - completely unattainable at any other time of the day. If this can be delivered in time with music playing in the room, you may as well not bother getting up, because your day already can't get any better.
No comments:
Post a Comment